How I Learned to Love to Write

I have some friends who are great writers even written a book, but they hate writing.

Whenever I bring up the topic or suggest we mutually support each other in our next books, I get a look like I had just asked them to eat dirt.

They tell me they hate writing, and while they may consider doing another book, the idea of writing nauseates them.

I Hated Writing and Wasn’t Any Good

I used to feel that way about writing. Growing up and having to write in school all the way through college was a chore for me, and I wasn’t any good at it.

In middle and high school, I never got very good grades on my writing assignments. Papers were returned to me filled with red marks and low grades.

I remember one time in elementary school, I wrote a paper on sports. I love sports, so that paper just flowed out of me, and when it came back it had noticeably fewer red marks and a grade of A-. Wow! I couldn’t believe it. Who knew I could write.

But it came with a note that said sports was not an appropriate topic, and not to write about it again. So I went back to writing about subjects I knew nothing about nor cared for, and the red marks and low grades returned.

When I went to the university things gradually got a little better, although not right away. I struggled through freshman English which was basically a composition course. It didn’t help that I didn’t get along very well with the professor. At the end of the semester, the professors in those days would post our final grades on the classroom door.

As I scanned down the list of student numbers (at least they didn’t use names), I noticed all grades were A’s, B’s or C’s, but one. That one D grade was mine. How embarrassing! I just couldn’t write to save my life.

Things did get better as I progressed through my university years, but I still hated writing.

When I graduated with my B.A, I was sick of school and didn’t want to continue on for a Masters or PHD. I needed a change.

After some consideration, I decided to sign up with the Peace Corps to teach English as a Second Language overseas. The next thing I knew I was in a small town in Thailand called Chainat (three hours north of Bangkok by bus), doing just that in a Thai high school.

Thailand Taught Me to Love Writing

So, there I was in my house in Chainat, the only foreigner in town, and it was difficult.

So, with not a lot of people to talk to, I decided to keep a journal. It was a big decision because I still hated writing, but I needed an outlet.

I remember the first time I opened my brand new notebook to start my first entry. It was almost a month into my stay and my teaching had started.

I stared at the blank page for a moment, then plunged right in and the words just poured out.

I felt I had been liberated. I no longer had to worry about grammar rules, sentence structure, organization, syntax, appropriate topics or returned papers filled with red marks and low grades.

I subconsciously said, “Fuck You” to all that and I just wrote in a torrent of emotion. It felt great!

After that, I wrote almost every day. I wrote whatever came to mind. If I had a bad day, I wrote about that. If something in the news grabbed my attention, I wrote about that. If something sparked me in my reading I wrote about that.

Often all those topics were intermixed. I might start off belly aching about some person or event and end up writing about a philosophical, political or spiritual issue. It all just weaved together.

Who cared? I was free. I never knew when I started writing where I would end up. My writing always took unexpected twists and turns, and rather than trying to control them, I just followed where they led, often being surprised by what was coming out of my pen

It didn’t matter because nobody was going to see it, but me. If I read it over and thought I was perhaps overly negative and judgmental about another person, so what? They would never read it, and I had vented my frustration and came out the better for it. It might even have given me some sympathy for the other person’s position, thinking maybe I overreacted to a situation.

Anyway, the upshot was I learned to love writing.

Get Out of Your Head

The reason people don’t like writing is most of us have been trained that writing is an arduous intellectual affair.

By that I mean when we write, we have this editor in our head that analyzes and criticizes almost every word or sentence that comes out. In short, we edit as we go along, and most of us are so self-critical that it makes writing torturous.

What made me love writing, was I dispensed with the editor. I wrote from my heart, feelings and intuition, and not from my head. I turned off the editor and just let it flow.

When my editor tried to sneak in from time to time to interrupt the flow, I ignored him. I found this type of writing to be spontaneous, creative and fun.

I can’t remember which author said this, but someone said, “They never know what they think about a subject until they write about it.”

I found that to be true and still do. Writing was an exploration into myself to find out what I thought about something.

Whatever the trigger, I would take the idea and just start running with it. I never knew where this would take me. It was like being on a runaway rail car.

Ideas and insights poured out of me that I never knew I had.

It Takes Practice to Let it Flow

I know, some of you might remember times when some idea popped into your head and maybe, in some inebriated state, you went off to write down these brilliant thoughts, only to discover the next morning that it was all gibberish.

It does take practice to connect that flow of feelings and intuition to words on a paper. The more we do it, the better we get.

It is also important to keep in mind why we are writing.

In Thailand, I was only writing for myself. I thought maybe I could use some of it in the future in some format, but I also knew in that case, I would have to go back and edit it.

When I was writing stream of consciousness, blocking my internal editor from any input, I also told him this ban was temporary. When I finished, and if necessary, he would get his say. I just needed to get everything out on paper first, before letting the editor have at it.

If you absolutely hate writing, try getting out of your head, ignoring all the teaching on writing you have endured, and get into your heart, your body, your feelings and let it rip.

If you are not used to this type of writing it can be difficult to let go and follow the flow. The ideas that might pop up can scare you. You might not like what they say about who you are. The trick is to realize those uncomfortable ideas are not who you are. They are the product of fears, doubts, and insecurities. When you expose them, you are on the road to purging them from your system.

Best Advice for Letting it Flow

My best advice is to choose some issue that gives you a strong emotional charge. It can be an event at school, at work, in the news, with another person, anything that strikes a chord and gives you an emotional jolt. Then sit down and write it out. Just let it come. Don’t worry if you’re being too harsh, vulgar or nasty. Just let it fly.

You can write all that nasty stuff because you know what? You will never have to show it to anybody. It is strictly for you. If you are embarrassed that such vitriol came out of nice, polite little old you, don’t be.

When you are finished and think you went overboard, you can just throw it away or burn it.

The benefit is you, in a healthy way, got to release your anger and pent up emotions, reducing your stress, giving you new perspective on the issue.

Plus, it gave you the experience of what it is like to get out of your head and write from your heart, keeping your editor at bay until you are finished.

Gradually, overtime as you practice and get better, you will find you can do this even when you aren’t in a highly emotional state. Maybe you do it just because you heard some idea or thought that triggered something in you that you wanted to explore.

So that is how I learned to love writing, and if you also want to love writing, but just can’t get over yourself to do it, this might be a good place to start.